Doctors appt

So today I had my postpartum follow up appointment at the doctors office. The doctor that delivered Brynn wasnt the doctor that I saw all through the pregnancy but was on call the day that I delivered so that is who I saw today. We were there for over an hour and a half waiting on him to see us because he got called out for delivery right before our appointment. I was nervous how Brynn would do but she was a good girl. Everyone in the office loved her, but couldnt get over how big she was. I kept reminding them all that they had a part in letting me go that long and letting her get that big. Once he was finally able to see us everything went fine and he released me to go back to work. I was sort of hoping that he would tell me I needed to take at least a year off to fully recover but no such luck.

After the appointment I went to see the lactation consultant again. I dont understand how something that is supposed to be so good for the baby can be so hard to accomplish. She is sort of puzzled too as to why we are having so much trouble, but seems to think that because I had to give her so many bottles when she wasnt gaining weight that now she doesnt want to work for it anymore so just eats enough to satisfy her for a little at a time. She told me for future reference not to necessarily do that right away even if the doctor suggests it(dont tell my doctor that), but I felt like I was doing the right thing at the time because she wasnt gaining weight. Who knows but it has been a struggle from the start and I think Josh and I are about ready to throw in the towel and switch to formula, just because every day I get upset about it and Brynn seems upset because she isnt satisfied and I need to make sure she is a more content baby when I start taking her to the babysitters. I applaud all of you moms who are able to do it and especially those of you who did it for the long haul.. at least I can honestly say I tried my hardest. It does make me sad though to think about giving it up just because it is such a bonding experience, but hopefully now at least I will be able to enjoy the rest of my time off with her. My 1st day back to work is September 18th, a month from today. I cant even think about it without tearing up.